This is an official letter of apology to a good friend of mine. You see, my friend, we'll call him "L-Dog" to maintain anonymity, was a former player for unlv. He was actually quite a good player as well and had a knee injury not hindered his career, he would probably be playing on Sundays and I wouldn't have even had the opportunity to know him. L-Dog is an all around, great guy with his only fault that I can point out being his alumni status. This past week has been filled with emails back and forth with some smack talk going on between the two of us. I think he is still bitter from having to wear Nevada gear and reciting the "Law of the Jungle" in front of our unlv graduate class after last years cannon game. Needless to say, his last email said, "You are going to be apologizing to me after it's all said and done." So here it goes:
I am sorry that your team does not know how to catch.
I am sorry that your team does not know how to carry the ball.
I am sorry that your team does not know how to block.
I am sorry that we unleashed the fury of a true freshman for 146 yards rushing against your team.
I am sorry that your coach feels your offense is so incompetent, that he decided to kick a pansy-ass field goal on a 4th and goal (it is my opinion that if the situation were reversed, Ault would have had the balls to go for it).
I am sorry that your boosters have been unable to buy your university any quality athletes since Tark left in the early 90's.
I am sorry that the Mountain West Conference in general is an inferior conference to the WAC (props BSU for pounding their best team).
I am sorry that unlv has the name "Nevada" in their title.
I am sorry that that the only unpaved area in the Las Vegas metropolitan area is the parking lot at the Silver Bowl. I am also sorry that there are only two roads in and out for rebel fans. It must be pretty frustrating having to sit in long lines when you leave at half time and you don't actually get to the freeway until the fourth quarter.
In general, I am sorry that if people in Las Vegas want to see a football game, they are better off checking out high school games on Friday nights or the Las Vegas ShowGirlz.
I am also sorry that unlv will not win another game this season.
Ok, so I am not sorry about that last one.....There's always next year, L-Dog and the rest of you Rebel fans.
I am sorry that your team does not know how to catch.
I am sorry that your team does not know how to carry the ball.
I am sorry that your team does not know how to block.
I am sorry that we unleashed the fury of a true freshman for 146 yards rushing against your team.
I am sorry that your coach feels your offense is so incompetent, that he decided to kick a pansy-ass field goal on a 4th and goal (it is my opinion that if the situation were reversed, Ault would have had the balls to go for it).
I am sorry that your boosters have been unable to buy your university any quality athletes since Tark left in the early 90's.
I am sorry that the Mountain West Conference in general is an inferior conference to the WAC (props BSU for pounding their best team).
I am sorry that unlv has the name "Nevada" in their title.
I am sorry that that the only unpaved area in the Las Vegas metropolitan area is the parking lot at the Silver Bowl. I am also sorry that there are only two roads in and out for rebel fans. It must be pretty frustrating having to sit in long lines when you leave at half time and you don't actually get to the freeway until the fourth quarter.
In general, I am sorry that if people in Las Vegas want to see a football game, they are better off checking out high school games on Friday nights or the Las Vegas ShowGirlz.
I am also sorry that unlv will not win another game this season.
Ok, so I am not sorry about that last one.....There's always next year, L-Dog and the rest of you Rebel fans.
